TownHall.com Robert Rector
Each year, more than 3 million teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease. In addition to the threat of disease and pregnancy, sexually active teens are three times more likely than teens who aren’t sexually active to become depressed and to attempt suicide.
Clearly, it’s in society’s interest to discourage teen sex. Teens themselves realize this: According to a Zogby poll, more than 90 percent of them say that society should teach kids to abstain from sex until they have, at least, finished high school. Parents want a stronger message: Almost nine in 10 want schools to teach youth to abstain from sex until they’re married or in an adult relationship that is close to marriage.
Yes, it is beneficial for young adults and society in general to value abstinence until marriage. There is nothing “liberating” about sexual anarchy which places self gratification above everything else. In that sense, the dangers (both physical and emotional) of the latter should be stressed.
That being said, not saying “teenagers are having sex” doesn’t make it not so, whether said teenagers are wearing a “Love Waits” t-shirt or not. Considering that quite a few parents would rather pull their eyeballs out than discuss s-xual matters with their children (which I understand … I mean, who wants to talk about s-x with their parents? yuk), it seems prudent to provide frank details in the classroom, I think. Should abstinence be emphasized? Yes, yes, yes! I just think that for the unfortunate few who have no idea how one gets pregnant or acquires a disease, I think some knowledge of condoms/contraceptives should be provided. I think we can still do this while still promoting Traditional Values©.
In my experience as a parent(my abstinent son is 18). Talking with your children is talking with your children. Start early, keep it up, and just be honest and open. My son and I were helped by the fact that we homeschooled. My wife and I were not faced with having to re-program our son after he spent 6-8 hours with teachers and peers that did not have his best interests at heart and certainly did not share our orientation to the world.
If parents make communicating with their children a priority, communication will happen, and it will happen naturally and most deeply on the those topics that are important. Many studies have shown that children of all ages want parental input on sex, drugs, etc. It is only the the false image our culture presents of the necessity for teenage angst and rebellion that intimidates both parents and teens from honest communication.
The whole notion of a “youth culture” is absurd and traps young people in a fictional world with no opportunity for maturing into adulthood. Youth at all ages should be supported, encouraged, and assisted in growing up, not thwarted by the false dicotomy of kids vs adults.
Abdicating instruction to governement and private schools each with their own agenda is destructive.
When I was 12 (12 years ago) my mother bought me 3 or 4 Christian books from a greek Orthodox bookstore, that talked about growing up and every thing involved in that. I think one of them was written by St. Alexis Toth.
I was fascinated to learn all that was to come. I learned of the biology of what things are and how they work, I learned about the psychological changes, issues that may arise and how normal and blessed this process is.
Most importantly I built an image of the process of “growing up” to be a process of increased responsibility, hard work, ethos and a gradual battle that only gets more intense and difficult. A battle to hold true to values, the basics of Christianity, when logically it’s against your material interest. A battle to overcome your own pride, temptations and desires but not to seclude yourself either. Be involved in your friends’ lives, but not follow them down any wrong path. Still, be there to deter them and show then your example!
My adolescence was not exactly easy for my parents, neither was I always a “good kid”. But, I very frequently followed my mom around the house talking to her, about who I liked in school, what girl got on my nerves etc…I really wanted to tell her.
Perhaps that was exactly because she hadn’t tried to “hide” anything from me, or put it off. She was there to listen, even when what she heard was not really “good news”. And luckily I would tell her, most of the time..
I do think there can be good communication between parents and children. Showing respect both ways, expecting you’ll probably not know everything, but have an idea, and definitely not trying to be “friends” but saintly parents helps.
Prayers also help the most.
If a kid wants to do something, they’ll find a way…
The Panagia can only put her hand and protect it then.