FunnyBiz | Feb. 8, 2008

7:00 pm - Opening flag burning
7:15 pm - Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. In Spanish
7:20 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm - Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:35 pm - Ceremonial tree hugging
7:40 pm - Americans Not Paying Enough Taxes - Warren Buffet
7:50 pm - Communism is Good for America - Barack Obama
7:55 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm - How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm - Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm - Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9.00 pm - Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11.00 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm - Humongous Mansions, SUVs, and Private Jets Owned by Liberals Don’t Affect Global Warming - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm - Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm - Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm - How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean & Rosie O’Donnell
12:05 am - ‘Truth in Broadcasting Award’ - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:15 am - Slowing Down the US Economy to Please AlGore - William Jefferson Clinton
12:25 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am - Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am - Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am - Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of ‘the Great Satan,’ George W. Bush
12:50 am - Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters
1:00 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party.

1:05 am - Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am - Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home