by Jackie Stammen –
I’m bothered by guys who lust after women. Don’t get me wrong, every woman loves to feel beautiful and to be told she’s beautiful; however, women don’t want to to be lusted after, they desire to be loved and respected. No one wants to be made to feel as though they are simply an object for someone else’s satisfaction. It’s rather intrusive, actually, to be spoken of as such. Women want to be valued for everything they are, as a whole human being – body, mind, heart, and soul. A woman wants a man to seek her heart above all else. I’d rather have a man fall in love with my heart than my temporal features.
If you fall in love solely because of looks, you might end up basing everything in your relationship on fire and passion, but the fire and passion won’t always be there. They are beneficial and healthy, but in reality, the passion will likely come and go and come and go again throughout the lifetime of your relationship. When the fire dies, you’re left with nothing but ashes. Ashes to be discarded and forgotten. In a relationship based solely on looks and passion, the relationship often comes to a screeching halt. The couple splits and parts ways, discarding the ashes of their relationship. On the contrary, if you seek to love with the heart, with the being, with the spirituality, and the depth of the soul you have something so strong it will last a lifetime. Love for the heart of another is like kindling to a fire. Kindling makes it easier to ignite the fire again and again over time.
I’m not trying to say being attracted to one another doesn’t matter or isn’t important. In fact, I think it is quite important to have an attraction to the person you fall in love with, but attraction shouldn’t be the only thing, or the primary thing, you chase. Furthermore, having attraction for one another is completely different than lusting over one another. The foundation you build the relationship on must be strong. Lust does not create a strong foundation.
This little theory works both ways – men should seek a woman’s heart and women should seek a man’s heart. Lusting for another won’t benefit either party.
The lesson? Love the heart, seek the heart, know the heart. Love for another as complete beings is necessary for a relationship that can stand the test of time.
Excerpts from: Catholic Online