When social conservatives make the arguments against gay marriage, we usually lose the debates before we even begin.
We make a terrible mistake whenever we focus the discussion on the nature of homosexuality is it a sinful and destructive erotic perversion, or a valid, harmless way to express affection and sensuality? Since many Americans feel sympathetic to homosexuals because of their personal contacts, or else through media imagery and messages, they resist the notion that same sex love is wrong by its very nature. Even within religious communities, advocates of the gay agenda score points by asking, "If homosexuality is a sin, then why did God make me this way?"
The real issue behind the gay marriage dispute isn't the validity of homosexual attraction, it's the importance of gender differences--- and that's a question on which nearly all Americans can agree.
Though a few radicals among the previous generation of feminists may have claimed that no significant distinction separated males and females, and promoted wishful thinking that insisted that all gender differences had been socially conditioned, thirty years of scientific investigation and real world experience now prove that the gap between men and women is huge and immutable. It's no wonder that a triumphant bestseller ("Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus") proclaimed different planetary origins for the two genders -- confirming our instinctual understanding that vast contrasts in physiology, psychology, brain structure, and even spirituality continue to separate the sexes.
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