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The Confession Part 1

Stanley Kurtz

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Have same-sex-marriage advocates said too much?

Suppose a large group of same-sex-marriage activists came together and made the following confession to a group of same-sex-marriage skeptics:

Look, we're going to level with you in a way that we haven't up to now. We all support same-sex marriage, but for many -- even most -- of us, gay marriage isn't an end in itself. It's a way-station on the path to a post-marriage society. We want a wide range of diverse families -- even 'polyamorous' groupings of three or more partners -- to have the same recognition, rights, and benefits as heterosexual married couples. In short, your worst fears are justified. The radical redefinition of marriage you've been worried about for so long is exactly what we want.

Oh sure, some of us are more radical than others. But even the most committed and prominent mainstream advocates of same-sex marriage largely support a radical family agenda. A few advocates who back a 'conservative' interpretation of same-sex marriage may regularly engage you in debate, yet their views carry relatively little weight within the gay community. Some of these 'conservative' supporters of same-sex marriage have claimed that there is no significant political constituency for polygamy-polyamory, or for a general legal deconstruction of marriage. That's just wrong. As gay marriage gains acceptance, we're going to have a polygamy-polyamory debate in this country. And among those sponsoring that debate will be many of the very same people and groups who've already pushed for same-sex marriage.

So why haven't we told you all this before? Simple. We've been censoring ourselves for fear of scaring away public support for same-sex marriage. You see, it's all about timing. Our plan is to establish same-sex marriage first, and then, as our next step, to demand that the rights and benefits of marriage be accorded to all types of families. After all, when the call for yet another radical redefinition of marriage comes from married same-sex couples, it's going to be that much more persuasive. Up to now, truth to tell, if any same-sex marriage backers pushed this radical agenda in public, we pressured them to keep silent. But now we're telling you the truth.

You see, despite what you've heard about the 'conservative case' for same-sex marriage, the more radical argument that 'love makes a family' has played a huge role in the success of the drive for same-sex marriage. And the 'love makes a family' idea requires recognition, not only for gay couples, but also for polygamous and polyamorous families.

Read the entire article on the National Review website (new window will open).

Posted: 04-Nov-06



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