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Designed for Sex: What we lose when we forget what sex is for

J. Budziszewski

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Midnight. Shelly is getting herself drunk so that she can bring herself to go home with the strange man seated next to her at the bar. One o'clock. Steven is busy downloading pornographic images of children from Internet bulletin boards. Two o'clock. Marjorie, who used to spend every Friday night in bed with a different man, has been binging and purging since eleven. Three o'clock. Pablo stares through the darkness at the ceiling, wondering how to convince his girlfriend to have an abortion. Four o'clock. After partying all night, Jesse takes another man home, not mentioning that he tests positive for an incurable STD. Five o'clock. Lisa is in the bathroom, cutting herself delicately with a razor. This isn't what my generation expected when it invented the sexual revolution. The game isn't fun anymore. Even some of the diehard proponents of that enslaving liberation have begun to show signs of fatigue and confusion.

Liberation Fatigue

Naomi Wolf, in her book Promiscuities, reports that when she lost her own virginity at age 15, there was "something important missing." Apparently, the thing missing was the very sense that anything could be important. In her book Last Night in Paradise, Katie Roiphe poignantly wonders what could be wrong with freedom: "It's not the absence of rules exactly, the dizzying sense that we can do whatever we want, but the sudden realization that nothing we do matters."

Desperate to find a way to make it matter, some young male homosexuals court death, deliberately seeking out men with deadly infections as partners; this is called "bug chasing." At the opposite extreme, some of those who languish in the shadow of the revolution toy with the idea of abstinence...but an abstinence that arises less from purity or principle than from boredom, fear, and disgust. In Hollywood, of all places, it has become fashionable to talk up Buddhism, a doctrine that finds the cure of suffering in the ending of desire, and the cure of desire in annihilation.

Speaking of exhaustion, let me tell you about my students. In the '80s, if I suggested in class that there might be any problem with sexual liberation, they said that everything was fine...what was I talking about? Now if I raise questions, many of them speak differently. Although they still live like libertines, it's getting old. They are beginning to sound like the children of third-generation Maoists.

Read the entire article on the website Touchstone Magazine website (new window will open).

Posted: 22-Jul-05



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