'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land,
Every Courtroom was stirring, with lawyers' demands.
The stockings were banned from all public display,
Along with St. Nicholas and mangers with hay.
The children were silenced with all kinds of meds,
While visions of Adderall soared through their heads.
Liberals in their mischief, searching for mishaps,
Had just settled down from November's relapse.
When out in the public there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my studies to see what was the matter.
Away to the TV to view the newsflash,
I clicked the controller and blinked not a lash.
The tune on the crest of the new-arrived hour,
Made the luster of mid-day turn bitter and sour,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the ACLU, and eight senators near,
With an openly gay man, so callous and narrow,
I knew in a moment it was Tony Romero.
More rabid than weasels his coursers they came,
And blasphemed, and shouted, and called Christians names;
"Now, Sarbanes! Now, Kerry! Now, Schumer and Clinton!
On Feinstein! On Boxer! On Kennedy and Biden!
To the churches we torch; so that innocence falls!
Now slash away! Slash away! Slash away all!"
Their goal to spread tolerance all over this land,
But in cases of Christians, the public was banned.
So up to the courthouses the coursers they flew,
To prevent little children from hearing Good News.
And then, in a twinkling, I saw on the screen,
An abominable ad, life's worth it demeaned.
"Choice on Earth", the commercial's message did sound,
Proved that to evil, Planned Parenthood was bound.
Back to the program, a loud voice stated clear,
The toll of a bell meant the show's end was near.
The news program concealed Christmas from all public sight,
Ending: "Seasons greetings to all and to all a good night!"
Zechariah Winter is a college student from Nashville, Tennessee. He attends St. John the Wonderworker BulgarianOrthodox Church.